Seriously!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??? I have no problem talking to anyone- mom, bro, friends, friends' parents, other adults, other kids, strangers- Everyone!! except for me dad =/....
I can never start a conversation with him nor I can ever tell him anything about my recent life. Every time I am on the phone with him, I sounded like someone ripped out my vocal cord, "Hi dad.... nothing much.... I.....er...... ah. ......er.................................." (pulling my hair at this point)
To him, my recent life is a ______________________, and yes I left that part out because that's exactly what he thinks. It really frustrates him, it really frustrates me too.
I feel like I am always trying to find the right thing to say, but delayed too long, making the phone calls into awkward silences.
The worst part is there is no bad blood between us, I mean normal working dad, normal son(I hope), normal healthy family, there're no big fights or anything. So I don't know when it started, or what happened that make me not being able to talk to him.
Maybe I feel like I am not living up to his expectation, but ended up making things 10000 times worse by not telling him anything =/
ARGH! I am really hating myself about it =[
